Back in '84, I think it was, we toyed with the world of synthesizers and technology, and then decided it was better just to keep Dave.
...This was the reggae version of "Too Old to Rock 'n Roll," because Martin has just returned from the Caribbean. (mumble mumble) no St Lucia, not (mumble) ahm... Antigua! Antigua you went. On Holiday. To spend your money. What a bummer, ey? But he met lots of fantastic women. Martin is a famous womanizer. Martin, each night, each night, Martin has over 200 women in his bed. Sorry, I say bed? 200 women in his mind! Sorry, in his mind, in his mind!
...Christmas time. When really we should remember, this is a time for spiritual uplift. A time for one-ness with the universe, and Donovan. It is Not a time for heavy drinking, over-eating, and casual sex with farm animals. That's out of the question! (pause) So be warned, David Pegg!
Excuse my wearing my silly hat, but it does help me with my dreadful security problems.
Ah, David! David's back. Did you give it a good shake?
(singing) "..Aqualung my friend, don't you start away un-easy. You poor old sod you see it's only (pause) could be anyone!"
(singing) "..Aqualung my friend, don't you start away un-easy. You poor old sod you see it's only (pause) could even be you this time!" - Same tour, but in El Paso, Texas
(in my opinion, Ian never talked as much in earlier concerts.)
Now to begin the show, let's have a big big (location) welcome for the man
who almost single-handedly put the electric guitar back in its case. You've
seen him on the wireless, you've heard him on black and white television,
you paid for his house and car. Please welcome Martin Lancelot Barre!
Listen to the above (241k!)
That was a song from my new album, "Roots to Branches." It was called "Roots to Branches." The next one is not, it is called something different. What the hell it's called I can't f***ing remember. But let's move right on.
..a flute instrumental album which Andy Giddings and I had great fun recording. We had great fun recording it. Yes, we did. Unfortunately, you did not have great fun buying it. But never mind, there's always time.
That was a very old song from 1969. The next one is something a little more recent, it's a newer song from, ah, 1970.
..the Eagles used to be the opening act for Jethro Tull back in around 1970, when we used to play this. And a year or so later they came out with Hotel California. Martin noticed the fact that they were very similar. So, if the Eagles decide to give me the royalties from Hotel California, I want you to know I'm going to take you all out to dinner! What do you say? Heh? Good? Yeah, and what's more: we'll go somewhere nice! But somehow, the Eagles ain't going to be that f***ing stupid. They're not going to give me the royalties for that. They're going to take you out for dinner! You can tell them I said so. (laughing) That never occurred to be before, Martin, (mumble) after all these nights on this tour.
This is called, "We used to know," it's a great personal favorite of Martin's bars, so he will probably play it beautifully for you. Martin's bars (laughing).
This next song is one that comes from around 1970 and I used to be very silly on stage in concert back then, doing this song. I used to get very angry and I would to stupid, juvenile adolescent things like kicking my poor stool over on stage and getting far too exceitet. Much too excited. And getting really angry. But tonight, as befits a 48 year old man, I'm now going to play this song, after all these years, I'm going to play it nicely for you. In a mature and grown-up and responsible fashion. Okay? Try this... (later, he's seen kicking his stool and jumping around like he always used to).
And now, Martin is going to do what not many guitarists can do. He's going to play the flute in the next song. Martin wil play his flute, yes. Because, our first guitarist, Mick Abrahams, who was only with us for a very few months back in 1968, he couldn't play the flute. He was a good Blues guitarist, but he could not play the flute. So, we got rid of him and we got Martin, because Marting can play the flute. Hmmm. Then, a funny thing happened. I remembered that I play the flute. But by then it was too late. We got rid of Mick and Martin was in so I guess, Martin, you might as well stay, now that you're here, and we'll both play the flute. What do you say? That's a way to have fun. I'll play with your flute, you can play with my flute, maybe no. Anyway, we'd like to dedicate this to our previous guitar player Mick Abrahams. He's a very fine Blues guitar player. If he ever plays in your area, do go see him. He's still very very good. Mick Abrahams is with Blodwyn Pig. God bless him.
Apparently, it is that time of the night when our sound engineer gets very very hungry, and I guess he's the sorta guy who'd rather have a little bite to eat if it is possible to have that. Ah it seems he is OK now. He's feeding now at the back there. Yes, the sound engineer is going into a feeding frenzy and he's kissing, he's kissing young women he's plucked from the audience at random seemingly, some of whom are possibly wearing most of their clothing. And, he's about to eat his food, and we carry on there and we go, cheers.
This is one for the vegetarians. It's our vegetarian song. It's fileld with ecological and environmental messages, and we'd like to dedicate this next song to what must be one of the world's finest female vocalists today. We'd like to dedicate this to Linda McCartney. (boos from the audience) No, no, she's good! She's great! No, Linda and Yoko are doing an album together next year. No, it's going to be good! It's called, "Two cats, fighting!" Anyway, this is for Linda McCartney, and god bless her vegetarian sausages. It's called, "Wounded, old and treacherous."
After seeing something on the stage floor, IA bends down to pick it up,
looks at it and states, "Oh my God, it's a hair! Is it yours, Martin? You
really should be more careful with what you're doing with the little hair
you have got left! Do you want it back? If you won't have it, I sure will
Heard by Per Ekstrom
And what a pleasure just to welcome in case those you here in the auditorium don't know, to welcome the King Biscuit People out there who'll be listening to the recording of this some time later. Hello, King Biscuits!
(singing) I didn't mind if they groomed me for success (yeccch), or if they said that I was just a fool (or even worse, a punk).
"Forgive me for what I'm about to slip into, but I've slipped into worse things in my time. No, I didn't mean that! No, you've got the wrong idea! Just a little something that, uh, one of those cast-offs from David Bowie's show. You know, he's a very intelligent lad, David Bowie. He's got a lot up here. But, you see, I've got a lot down here! That's not really true. Actually, I've got one of the smallest pee pee's you've ever seen and this is my means of overcoming my shortcomings. Anyway, this is a song that bought my mother a color telly (television), for which she'd like to thank you if she were here, but she's not. So, tough luck, and it's called Thick as a Brick."
You know, the first time I saw Barrie wearing this splendid Scottish kilt was just the other day, and I was a little confused from the word go as to just what sort of underwear he would don in order to protect his private and quite naughty parts from your gaze. So I said to him, I came right out just like this, 'Barrie, what are you going to wear under your kilt?' So he said, 'Lift up the front and have a look,' so I did. Lifted up the front, stuck my head underneath, and oh, I must tell you it was gruesome! Gruesome! And as I looked at it, it grew some....more! Which is almost as difficult to say as the next song is to play. This is a spirited rendition of with some really quite delightful mistakes in E-flat minor of a song called Velvet Green, in which David Palmer, who used to be a lecturer in compostion at Trinity College of Music, London, England, and now as you see is my full-time co-worker, will play the medieval, portative pipe organ. With great panache, take it away, Dave!"
"A short year and a half ago, Martin and I had the dubious but quite pleasurable experience indulging in this act of middle-aged voyerism in the quaint old town of Budapest, where we nearly got into serious trouble when this absolute angel, this absolute vision of delight and perfect untouchableness, wandered onstage. However, being the gentlemen that we are, Martin and I didn't touch, we didn't twiddle, we didn't grope, we didn't tickle...we just looked! Why not? Well for one thing, she was only fifteen, and for another, we weren't! This is called Budapest."